Identities

High School Special Education Teacher.

Case Manager.

Cohort Group Member.

Certified Personal Trainer.

Summer Camp Leader.

Babysitter.

Wife.

Best Friend.

Dog Mom.

These were my identities before we moved. These were my life. My purpose. My motivation to get up each morning and kick ass.

How quickly things change.

Since moving, my identities went from many to few. Here I am known for 1 thing – I am D’s wife.

I am still a best friend. I am still a dog mom. I can still be a teacher or a trainer or a camp leader when we move back. But here, surrounded by strangers, I am 1 thing. My identity is solely through my husband.

Don’t get me wrong, I love D. And I wouldn’t want to spend my life with anyone else.

But, 7 months into this assignment, and I’m not sure how much longer I can go without my own identity. I want to work. I want to help people. I want a purpose to get up before 11:30 am each day. I want MY life outside of just being a wife.

Maybe I am selfish. Who gets upset about a year and a half off of work to live in Europe?

I have experienced so many unbelievable adventures. Visited places I never would be able to otherwise. Countless trips with D. An amazing trip to Paris with my best friend. These are things that never would have happened if we didn’t move here. And I am incredibly grateful for these things.

But, I also just want normalcy.

I try to ignore these thoughts and feelings. I know that me being upset about living here upsets D. I know he feels responsible for my lack of happiness here. And, that’s not fair to him.

This past week, C came to visit. Not only did I laugh and smile more than I have in 7 months, but I was also just genuinely happier than I have been in 7 months. Life felt normal. I was able to briefly forget that this week long “normal” was temporary. It felt like a summer vacation, especially since D was able to take some days off and hang out with us.

But, C left yesterday, and those thoughts and feelings came flooding back. Not only because I realized how much I miss my best friend, but because I realized how much I missed my “normal” life.

I realized that living here causes me to forfeit another ENTIRE school year of teaching.

I realized that living here means another year of my only identify being D’s wife.

I realized that in living here, I have no real purpose. No motivation for each day.

It’s so much deeper than missing just one thing about home. It’s missing my entire life there. And I don’t know how to survive another possible 8-12 months here while feeling this way.

I guess it’s time to fake it til I make it!

HIIT workout

It finally feels like summer here! Or, at least it did for a week…

After a week of temperatures in the 80’s and no air conditioning, I can safely say that I am okay with average summer days in being in the low to mid 60’s. I would rather be cold outside than sweat when I am inside!

The start of summer is bringing many visitors, trips, and outings! With the less than consistent schedule of the next few months, D and I decided it was the perfect opportunity to mix up our lifting routine a bit.

Instead of jumping right back into another 4 week mesocycle of heavy lifting, we decided to go a little more high intensity, met-con type with our workouts. This gives us more flexibility with our workouts so that we can focus on enjoying our company, while they are here!

I’ve come up with a lot of different workouts over the past few months, but our most recent dedicated HIIT workout is by far my favorite! We’ve combined some of our favorite lifts with some cardio and timed it to create a fast-paced, killer workout!

As always, be careful when trying a new workout. Take your time, pace yourself, and don’t go past your limits!

HIIT Lifting Workout

Warm-up: 1 mile run (not too fast – just focus on warming up your body)

Complete all 5 of the lifts below (at prescribed reps) without a break (you can time yourself during these rounds)

  • Hang Cleans x 6
  • Deadlift x 12
  • Push Press x 10
  • High Pulls x 10
  • Front Squats x 12

After all 5 lifts, rest 60-90 seconds before the next round.

Complete 3 rounds total.

This workout is designed to be fast-paced, but not easy. Choose a weight that you can lift the prescribed amount. Don’t go too heavy! Work on speed and quality of the lifts over lifting heavy sets!

After round 3, 2 minute cool down.

Finish with alternated jump rope/crunches (for time).

  • 50 jump rope
  • 50 crunches
  • 40 jump rope
  • 40 crunches
  • 30 jump rope
  • 30 crunches
  • 20 jump rope
  • 20 crunches
  • 10 jump rope
  • 10 crunches

Cool down by stretching…you will need it!

This workout has kicked our asses more than once in the past few weeks! It’s great because you can set yourself to go a pace that works for you at a weight that also works for you, and still have a great workout!

More workouts to come! If you have any questions, just ask!

Happy lifting!

Recovery Warriors

Last week, a friend recommended I listen to a Note To Self podcast about paper books vs ebooks. I am an avid lover of holding a paper book while reading…and the podcast definitely agreed with my viewpoint! 🙂

That podcast (really great, highly recommend the series), led to more podcasts and before long, I was listening to a podcast on each of my long walks with S. One of the podcasts I happened to stumble across was Recovery Warriors.

I had used the Recovery Warriors app in the past, I follow them on Instagram, but somehow, I hadn’t found the podcast yet! But, after downloading a few and listening to them on walks over the past few days, I wanted to share them with you guys!

Recovery Warriors is a recovery oriented group founded by Jessica Raymond. They have a presence on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and more! The Recovery Warrior website has tons of articles, links, and resources dedicated to helping others in recovery.

So far, my favorite podcast has been episode 5: 30 Lessons Learned in Recovery. In this episode, Jessica shares 30 lessons she has learned throughout both life and recovery. Each lesson can be made applicable to your own life and journey.

I can’t wait to continue listening to the Recovery Warrior podcasts! I hope you guys find them as interesting and as helpful as I have! 🙂